Sex should feel fun, and safe. It's very important that you — and the person you're having sex with — are happy and excited during sex.
It’s best to have sex with a person you trust. You want to trust that they will stop if you ask them to. Sex feels better, and is safer, when you both trust each other.
Some people have lots of sex, and some people never have sex. There is no normal amount of sex to have.
It’s a good idea to have a big talk before sex. Talk with the person you are going to have sex with about what you want to do, and what they want to do, before you have sex.
You should talk during sex too. Tell the person you are having sex with if you want to stop, or if you want to do something different. Ask them if they feel good, and make sure you tell them if something feels bad.
It’s a really good idea to talk after sex too!
It’s okay to stop, anytime you want to. If sex feels boring, uncomfortable, or painful, it’s a good idea to stop. If you've had enough sex, you can just stop.
You don’t owe anybody sex, and nobody owes you sex. It’s wrong to pressure someone to have sex with you. If someone is pressuring you to have sex, it’s a good idea to stay away from them, and tell someone you trust. You never ever have to do any sex stuff that you don’t want to do.
Only have sex when you want to have sex! It doesn’t matter how excited the other person is, or if you have already started having sex with them, you are always allowed to stop.
When you have sex, there is often a possibility of pregnancy. It is also possible to get a sexually transmissible infection (STI). Using condoms, and other contraception, is the best way to protect yourself from pregnancy, and STIs. Make sure to get an STI test before and after you have sex with a new person. We can help you get the right contraception for you.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can get you contraception if you ask for it. We will also give STI tests, and pregnancy tests, to anyone. No matter how old you are, your nurse or doctor will check that you understand what you’re doing, and that you’re not being forced to do something you don’t want to do. If you are at risk, they will have to share that with other people to get you some help, but they will talk to you first.
It is legal in Aotearoa to have sex once you, and your partner, are both 16.