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Are you that someone?

Tuesday, March 15, 2016


test yourself in these situations:

Stop horsing around, call it as you see it

What would you do if you saw someone at a party, in a bar, at a concert or in a crowd being hassled or touched by someone, and you can see they don’t like what’s happening.

How do you react when your gut is telling you a situation is dodgy?

Do you call out your friends if they make rape jokes, cat-call women, slut shame or victim-blame?

Would you intervene if you saw or heard something that you knew wasn’t right? Are you that someone?

When we don’t step up we are sending a message that this sort of behaviour is OK.

We can all do and say things to prevent sexual violence: we can step in during an incident, or we can challenge ideas and behaviours that support sexual violence – whether we know the person or not.


  1. They’re worried about what others think
  2. They fear retaliation
  3. They doubt themselves
  4. They think someone else will do it

We can all be that someone - but will you?


Here are our four steps to taking action and being that someone.

1. CHECK IN – ask the person if they’re OK with what’s going on

2. CALL IT AS YOU SEE IT – tell them what they’re doing is not OK

3. GET INVOLVED – if you can do it safely, cause a distraction or split them up

4. GET HELP – grab your mates or others to join you in speaking up

If a situation is escalating and it’s not safe, find someone in charge like an RA or bouncer. Call the Police on 111.

If you or someone you know has been the victim of a sexual assault check out the Toah-Nnest website for a full list of services around the country.

For more tips on bystander interventions check out Are You That Someone? on Facebook.

Family Planning has clinics located throughout New Zealand. Use the clinic finder to find your nearest clinic.

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